The Dark Gospel
| The Dark Gospel | |
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| Players | Irving Park Hal gives Faith a complex answer to the question of what the Lancea et Sanctum believes. |
A soft sussuration of steel against leather whispers in the dark office as Hal draws the edge of his knife up and down the strop, one end attached to a hook that he has attached to the side of one of the bookcases. It might seem a strange place to hone one's knife, but that's what he does. It's the death-blade, and though it already seems very sharp he does this somewhat regularly. Tonight he is not in his suit, nor is he dressed for bed. It's early yet for that. Just now he's in laced up black leather boots and black BDU pants, the H-harness over his torso. This is much as he was dressed that night in the tunnels. Faith's spent most of the early evening on her phone. Networking, following up on leads, and even pacing as she speaks, it's been growing frustrating as this group of gangsters keep giving her the run around. Faith's reputation amongst the criminal element isn't something that is really feared yet -- she's just that weird medic people don't really like to visit much, but do when they really need to. It's left her in a mood as she finds her way into the office, probably muttering about humans, to see what Hal is up to! "... you're all dressed up," she states the obvious after a moment, for her part just wearing her usual getup for when she's at home, which means not hiding her face away of course. The very presence of Faith brings a smile to Hal's face. His eyes rest upon her without a pause in that honing motion. Up the blade goes, then down it comes. The noise is actually relaxing, a bit like waves at a beach. "I'm going into the Undercity to scout some paths. I want to find a space down there we can use that I can negotiate away from Tillo." It's a plan at least! "Is Dracula still being a pain in the ass?" He probably doesn't even need to ask. It's a recurring problem. "Ah." Her brows do lift a bit at the idea, a moment of concern there, but she doesn't voice it. Instead, she offers, "I can't even get a hold of him. All his people are closing ranks and refuse to tell me anything. You know I even chased one of them for like an hour, using Nightmare, to see if he'd lead me to the right place?" She huffs a little bit at it, her eyes tracking the rise and fall of the blade. It is relaxing. "If you want me to come along at any point, I will. I remember you thought there might be connections to your church's catacombs." "Of course you may come if you wish. It's really a project for the benefit of the Lancea et Sanctum though so I didn't want to presume on you." Hal doesn't even watch what he's doing anymore. He lets the knife make its back and forth circuit to bring itself to impossibly more sharpness without looking away from Faith. "Or I could do this another night and just help you hunt down the gang. They're definitely worthy of my attention, sinners that they are." Some wicked smugness definitely in that look. Faith shrugs, doing that vampire thing where she doesn't really move much except when she wants to, that ability to just remain still if she doesn't think about it. "Well, you were gonna tell me more about the Church anyway," she says with a bit of warmth about the words. "And you can presume on me any time." That actually does cause a smile for a moment. "And I could do with not thinking about stupid humans for a few hours at least, honestly." "Have you never been taught the Longinian Faith, Faith?" In spite of the little play off of her name (not the first), Hal doesn't really emphasize it. It is curiously one thing that they haven't spoken of a whole lot over the years. "I think you've read the Testament of Longinus. I know it's common for the members of the First Estate to at least attend Midnight Mass, but..." If she wants to think about something that is not stupid humans he seems happy to oblige! Faith moves then, settling in a slight lean against the desk, putting her cellphone down and folding her arms across her as she watches Hal. "I've heard some of it, I wouldn't say I've been taught it really." She admits quietly, nodding. "I try to keep up one what all the Covenants are about really. An Au Pair is ostensibly to educate neonates in the ways of the Invictus but I find it a limiting view. Not every neonate is going to work out that way." A pause, and she gets back on track. "But. Samantha gave me an overview about Damnation and Divine purpose. I'd say I've ... skimmed the Testament rather than read it." Hal seems unsurprised and quite unoffended. It's more than many Kindred bother to learn really. As he speaks he finally takes his eyes away from his lovely companion and focuses upon the knife and strap, continuing to hone. "Importantly, the bottom idea of the faith is that we are Damned and beyond judgment. Of course you know this. The details of why and how are where it becomes more complex. The interventions of the angels Ammoniel and Vahishtael, the tribulations of the Dark Prophet Longinus at the hands of Vahishtael in particular. The Rule of Golgotha is probably where the real meat of the Church's rules and why we have them can be found. Would you like your own Testament?" Faith inclines her head a little, glancing from the knife back to Hal and then back to the knife again. "Something about it did influence me early on, I think. For the longest time, whenever I looked int he mirror all I saw was a monster ... so I kind of tried to be what I saw, because I didn't know what else to be." There's a thoughtful expression about her there, her gaze lowering to stare somewhat at the floor. "Sure. I'll make sure I make the time to read it." Naturally Hal doesn't waste their time by getting the book for Faith just this moment. It'll happen later. For now, "We teach that you are a monster. That you are evil, as defined by anything outside of God's grace being inherently evil. You are a creature of sin, outside the redemption of Christ, and bound eventually for Hell. But for all that, you and I and every other Kindred is potentially at least able to play a role in God's plan. We have a place in Creation, and what we are comes with purpose. We are simultaneously Damned and yet elevated, less and more than Man. We have become at least somewhat like angels." "There's a certain ... contradiction there I find hard to reconcile," Faith admits with a nod, listening attentively. "Suggesting that Damnation itself elevates us doesn't make sense. And I don't feel like an angel, Hal." She's thoughtful, searching for the words as she glances back up at him. "But I don't feel like I'm ... evil, either. Don't get me wrong, I know I've done awful things since my Embrace, sometimes out of necessity, but I try not to most of the time." "It's interesting isn't it? You're asking a good question, but I counter with another: What does an angel feel like? What does evil feel like? According to the prophets and all of our scripture, mortal and otherwise, the world is sinful. The way we feel right now, the way we've felt since our mortal births...that's how it feels to be evil. Going back to the words of the Christ in the Gospel, there is so little difference between the works of a generous man trying to be virtuous and the most unrepentant sinner." Clearly this is good territory for Hal, and he pauses honing the knife finally to gesture about with its shiny blade for emphasis. "But as I said about Damnation, it is a bittersweet situation. We are forever barred from the possibility of Heaven and redemption. In return we receive the Requiem. The pleasures of our existence now are ours. The pains we suffer are as bad as it will get. This is not so bad a Damnation, in my opinion." "Forever denied Heaven, but we get to live forever instead." Faith says thoughtfully, nodding along. "I -don't- feel evil though, Hal. Not really. I guess I've never truly thought about the nature of evil. I know some of the things I do would be considered pretty grim by regular people though. But if this is what evil is meant to feel like then ... the humans generally talk about God being kind and loving. Why would there be so little difference between the virtuous and the sinners?" She's attentive and considering, once again largely unmoving. "And until recently, I can't say I had a lot of pleasures in this existence. " "To get at the root of your question actually goes deeper than what our Church teaches." Fortunately, Hal sounds as if he has some of the answer anyway! "It goes back to the Gnostic idea of the Demiurge, the creator of the material world. The true God is unknowable, beyond the world we see around us here. All of this was created by the Demiurge, and it is malevolent. Heaven is the transcendent state of perfect being, and Damnation means we cannot enjoy it. Mind you none of this is part of the Longinian Faith, but it's also not denied. It's older wisdom. The truths revealed to Longinus is only to explain why we as vampires are the way we are and what our place is in this world." He goes back to honing the knife on the strop, grinning and suggesting with a chuckle, "...I think Darwin is far more lost than you when it comes to the nature of evil. There's always that. And we have found a little pleasure, I think." "We have," Faith says quietly. "More than a little. That's why I said, until recently." There is a smile there, curving at the corners of her mouth. "I think Darwin just tried very hard to believe that people, of all sorts, are at their core good and mean well." Her brows lift up though as she considers further. "In truth, I have had moments in the past where I've had to do something I'd rather not, and I have thought to myself 'well, this is what the Sanctified say I should be doing anyway ...', and it's a small comfort. Obviously I tend to lean on the Invictus structures more to help me navigate my fundamental nature as a Vampire." "I know little of how the Invictus considers this. My impression is that as a secular culture, it doesn't spend much time on it. We of the Lancea et Sanctum dwell on it quite a bit." Rather than continue talking about Darwin, Hal seems to want to move past it. "It's normal for us to do things that rasp against our souls. I've been Embraced almost two hundred years now and I still feel it. Guilt is normal, and even if our essential nature is evil we are capable of kindness, honor, prudence, honesty, and any other virtue. Hell may tolerate goodness; it is goodness that cannot tolerate evil." Faith doesn't seem inclined to delve into the Invictus right now, she's not going to change the subject away. "I do understand that. I've regularly felt the guilt, even recently. Even from just ... minor manipulations with people's lives. They don't matter to me, not really, and yet ... sometimes I wonder if they should matter to me more than they do. I don't think we're incapable of good, that's for sure. Though it feels like it takes more effort." Hal rasps away on his strap, nodding along as he listens but then contemplates his answer to that. This time he takes a couple of seconds. "This is where we encounter another fact that sounds like a contradiction. The Lancea et Sanctum teaches that we are monsters, but we must maintain Humanity. It's anathema for example for us to prey upon children, and discouraged for us to abuse or torture the mortals. The wolf preys, it does not torment. A lot of neonates think this is strange because they take the idea that we are monsters all the way to its end that we might as well be mindless monsters, but Humanity is crucial. To that end we do need careful, structured, intentional acts of charity or kindness from time to time. They serve the real purpose of strengthening the will to stand against the Beast. Many other Kindred understand this but this is the reasoning behind that philosophy within the Church." She's quiet, once again following the motion of the knife as something easy to focus her vision on, taking some moments. "We have so much ability to torment," Faith says after a moment. "And how does that interact with some of my abilities? The Nosferatu are known for invoking fear, and as I just told you: I spent a good hour almost, chasing Luke across the suburbs with visions of his fears. It was definitely torment ... but it was something that I did for a reason." She tilts her head just slightly. "I'm not master of Nightmare, but it has its uses. But yes. I do nice things sometimes." "The scriptural prohibitions against tormenting mortals refer to the hunt. It's also important to note that Longinus was expressing an ideal that we are to live up to. It's expected that we will fall short of course, and for that reason we have the rite of confession. Further, we're Damned. Who is there to punish us for failing?" Hal has a little chuckle to himself then. "Brings us back around to the curious notion that if we practice our faith not out of fear for punishment or hope for redemption, why? Why do we do it? And the answer ultimately is complex and debated, but my favorite version of it is that we owe it. That we have been gifted with the powers of vampirism, the secrets of Theban Sorcery, the divine interventions of two angels, and proof that the faith is a true one." "That is ... odd," Faith agrees with a nod. "We have an ideal to live up to, but we've already been punished for failing? I'm not sure what to make of that, I admit. But it's interesting that it would differentiate between the hunt. I wasn't hunting Luke, I was trying another method to get information out of him. I don't mind the taste of fear sometimes, though, but I don't think I'd go so far as to plague someone with disturbing visions just to spice a meal." There's a frown there though, because on some level -- maybe she would! "But ... proof? How is there proof? Isn't it all like the bible, just words in a book? Not to diminish their importance, but ..." she trails off, a little uncomfortable with this line of questioning, perhaps. Hal doesn't look like he'll fly off the handle, not that it would be anything like him to do so. He pauses the sharpening again and this time tests the edge of the blade on a fingernail. At last he smiles in satisfaction and then slides the knife into the sheath that lies horizontal across the small of his back at the belt. His favored posture of folding hands at the small of his back when speaking with people or in a relaxed posture might begin to take on a new light! After this patient little ritual he speaks, "Besides the experience of the Theban Miracles, the revelations of the angels, the witnesses to the realities of these events, besides all of these there is the miracle of what has happened to you and me. We died and came back. That is magical and beyond the normal order of things. I was allowed to lie dead for a full day before I was brought back. Hell is real, and if Hell is real then so must be Heaven. To me that is proof." She watches him in quiet, tracking the knife for as long as she can before it's slipped away, clealy noting it. There is a small frown as he begins, but she doesn't interrupt. The frown lessens, and she's left with her neutral sort of expression once again. "I did forget about that," she admits. "That you were actually dead for so long before rising again. I can't refute that, I suppose, except to say the same as what I'd say for everything else: people lie. Vampires especially. I don't think you've lied to me, that's not what I'm saying, but ... oh, you know what I mean." Frown is back again in full force! "I don't know about the Theban Miracles either, but aren't all of our powers kind of like that too? What sets them apart from anything else a vampire can do?" Hal's response to the remark about lies is to grin. "Oh I know it. But as much as we lie we also have the skills to actually pick out lies. I am utterly convinced that the claims of the Monachus and Longinus were scrutinized for lying, even if I have no proof of that. It's just a logical assumption in that part." He crosses the short distance between them to lean against the desk next to Faith, close enough to touch. "I've felt the presence of Theban Sorcery. It feels very different. It's strange, and it comes from outside of us instead of from within the blood. Most of all though it's holy. You can feel it. One of these nights you'll see." "That's true." Faith agrees with the general idea that lies can be found, shifting a little to just slightly lean her shoulder against Hal once he's there next to her. "And I know at some point you do just have to accept some things on faith." A pause, and a brief, soft laugh at the awkwardness of her own name being Faith. "I've never seen any of the things people call sorcery being done. It always seemed like just a fancy way of describing what I can already do, it's pretty magical." "Like I say, one of these nights I'll have you experience it. Probably we'll make you a vitae reliquary." Hal doesn't bother arguing further. These things make themselves evident all by themselves. He watches Faith with a look of contentment. "Some of it does involve faith, but again we're Damned. The salvation available to mortals is all about faith. We have proofs to convince us since God no longer requires faith from us to believe. Our belief really has no further value to Him, just our acts. Anyway...enough of that. Here..." He leans back across the desk, awkwardly sliding the drawer open on the business-end of the desk to fish out a small book that looks thinner than one would expect. This he presents to Faith, and it has no features on its cover. It's just a black little book. "I give this to you to keep." "Okay. I actually look forward to that." Faith says with a smile there, not bothering to ask exactly what a vitae reliquary might be. It's a bit self evident, and for the rest she'll just wait and see! "I've never heard it said that way before, you know. Our belief no longer matters? Sanctified vampires pray though?" But she takes the book, looking it over, opening to a random page somewhere in the middle and glancing down at it briefly to confirm her expectations. "Thanks, Hal. I am going to really try. I don't have ... any issue with the idea of Damnation itself." Sure enough it's a Testament. In fact it looks pretty well read and eve has a few notes penned in here and there. A question mark and an arrow at a word, or some notes to compare to one verse to another verse. Hal answers, "Of course we pray. Angels and saints may listen to our prayers even if God will not, so prayer is not completely without value. While we are not Christian it is useful to study the other faiths of Abraham. They help us understand ours. The value of belief and faith to the Almighty in comparison to the value of acts is a lesson spelled out by Jesus quite clearly, and even if our situations are different the overall rules by which God chooses to function still apply." A few more pages flicked, just brief glances, and then the book is snapped shut and Faith nods. "I never thought about angels and saints listening to the prayers, despite everything you've said tonight." There's a lot of admissions from Faith! "It's ... a lot to think about. And I'm sure as I read and read I'll just have more and more questions, you know." Hal leans closer (which is very much in her space obviously) and whispers, "I'll enjoy answering your questions much more than I do Darwin's silly anxieties." He reaches down to squeeze her thigh and says, "I should probably get going. You wanna come along or stay in?" "He's hilarious though," Faith says with a brief grin, leaning close against him in turn. "You know, I might stay in if you don't mind. You've put me in a ... contemplative mood now. Which is better than where I was so, I guess you were successful." | |